If generation X thought ‘family is foremost’, for generation Y, are parents a pest?
Oprah: So now both of you are living with your (Abhishek’s) parents…
Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan: Yeah.
Oprah: Now how does that work?!
Abhishek: You live with your family?
Oprah: No…
Abhishek: How does that work?!
…and there was a roaring applause. For years now there have been discussions and debates over India aping the West, and one of the bones of contention being youngsters wanting to separate from their families and lead an independent life. I was often puzzled when my friends would want to have a separate home, until one day I had an elaborate discourse with my cousin who is now happily settled in the US. “The motivation to move to the US was the thought of being away from my parents”, he’d mentioned. “For one, it’s an escape from the everyday explanations of one’s whereabouts. Apart from that, I wanted to handle my own life without being pestered about issues like cleaning, studying, spending money, watching TV or calling friends over. I used to have an argument almost every second day with my parents, but now that I’m away, our relationship is beautiful.” With the newer generation striding ahead of the past generation, such problems are prevalent in most homes. Sushma Virk, school teacher and mother of twin girls, gives a parent’s point of view, “There’s a point in time where parents have to control the children; probably during those early teenage years. And then there are times, early 20 onwards, when parents have to listen to the children because then they are mature enough to understand what’s good for them.” On being asked if she’d allow her girls to separate if her rules don’t go down well with them, Sushma said, “Not at all! As far as possible I will try to find a middle path. I guess this is the time when children want to have fun. So, why not let them live their way?”
People all over the world look up to India’s culture, especially because of our strong family bonds, and it’s a sad sight when tiny tiffs lead one to an impulsive decision of walking out of home. Opines Dr. Sanjay Chugh, “Living on your own makes you learn new things about life and your own self. It makes you more independent, self-reliant and responsible, if the freedom is rightly used. All these are desirable qualities, that’s why, if there is opportunity along with resources, rarely would anyone like to ignore it.” But the days ahead might not turn out to be all rosy. “Separating is an important decision and so, the family’s mental preparedness is crucial. If both the parents and the child are mentally and emotionally ready, then the whole shift could be far more peaceful and stress free. If not, the chances of emotional breakdowns are high”, said Sanjay.
To avoid reaching a crossroad of heartaches, both parents and children need to realise that where there’s love and understanding, a little adjustment can definitely be accommodated.
For more articles, Click on IIPM Article.Oprah: So now both of you are living with your (Abhishek’s) parents…
Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan: Yeah.
Oprah: Now how does that work?!
Abhishek: You live with your family?
Oprah: No…
Abhishek: How does that work?!
…and there was a roaring applause. For years now there have been discussions and debates over India aping the West, and one of the bones of contention being youngsters wanting to separate from their families and lead an independent life. I was often puzzled when my friends would want to have a separate home, until one day I had an elaborate discourse with my cousin who is now happily settled in the US. “The motivation to move to the US was the thought of being away from my parents”, he’d mentioned. “For one, it’s an escape from the everyday explanations of one’s whereabouts. Apart from that, I wanted to handle my own life without being pestered about issues like cleaning, studying, spending money, watching TV or calling friends over. I used to have an argument almost every second day with my parents, but now that I’m away, our relationship is beautiful.” With the newer generation striding ahead of the past generation, such problems are prevalent in most homes. Sushma Virk, school teacher and mother of twin girls, gives a parent’s point of view, “There’s a point in time where parents have to control the children; probably during those early teenage years. And then there are times, early 20 onwards, when parents have to listen to the children because then they are mature enough to understand what’s good for them.” On being asked if she’d allow her girls to separate if her rules don’t go down well with them, Sushma said, “Not at all! As far as possible I will try to find a middle path. I guess this is the time when children want to have fun. So, why not let them live their way?”
People all over the world look up to India’s culture, especially because of our strong family bonds, and it’s a sad sight when tiny tiffs lead one to an impulsive decision of walking out of home. Opines Dr. Sanjay Chugh, “Living on your own makes you learn new things about life and your own self. It makes you more independent, self-reliant and responsible, if the freedom is rightly used. All these are desirable qualities, that’s why, if there is opportunity along with resources, rarely would anyone like to ignore it.” But the days ahead might not turn out to be all rosy. “Separating is an important decision and so, the family’s mental preparedness is crucial. If both the parents and the child are mentally and emotionally ready, then the whole shift could be far more peaceful and stress free. If not, the chances of emotional breakdowns are high”, said Sanjay.
To avoid reaching a crossroad of heartaches, both parents and children need to realise that where there’s love and understanding, a little adjustment can definitely be accommodated.
Spriha Srivastava
Source : IIPM Editorial, 2010.
An Initiative of IIPM, Malay Chaudhuri and Arindam chaudhuri (Renowned Management Guru and Economist).
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